


A Party for Peabrain

by CoffeeWithConsequences, deinvati, IAmANonnieMouse, liternee109, oceaxe, QueenThayet, swtalmnd, teacuphuman



Category: Inception (2010)
Genre: Alternate Universe, Birthday Fluff, Established Relationship, Fanfiction of Fanfiction, Fluff and Crack, Gift Fic, Grocery Shopping, Inception birds, M/M, Peabrain the Peacock, Peacocks, Round Robin
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-04-09
Updated: 2018-04-09
Packaged: 2019-04-20 11:31:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 10
Words: 1,741
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14260035
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CoffeeWithConsequences/pseuds/CoffeeWithConsequences, https://archiveofourown.org/users/deinvati/pseuds/deinvati, https://archiveofourown.org/users/IAmANonnieMouse/pseuds/IAmANonnieMouse, https://archiveofourown.org/users/liternee109/pseuds/liternee109, https://archiveofourown.org/users/oceaxe/pseuds/oceaxe, https://archiveofourown.org/users/QueenThayet/pseuds/QueenThayet, https://archiveofourown.org/users/swtalmnd/pseuds/swtalmnd, https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacuphuman/pseuds/teacuphuman
Summary: A birthday celebration of Arthur, Eames, and a (pea)cock.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [FiaMac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiaMac/gifts).
  * Inspired by [Cock Handling](https://archiveofourown.org/works/11708175) by [FiaMac](https://archiveofourown.org/users/FiaMac/pseuds/FiaMac). 



> For our dear friend, Fiamac, who is wonderful and lovely and deserves adoration to the nth degree. Happy birthday, darling, from all of us slackers!

 

Title Card by [teacuphuman](https://archiveofourown.org/users/teacuphuman/pseuds/teacuphuman)

Art by [youcantsaymylastname](https://archiveofourown.org/users/youcantsaymylastname/pseuds/youcantsaymylastname)


	2. Chapter 2

Arthur maneuvered around the bell pepper display to reached for the bagged salad.

“Shit,” he muttered, jerking his hand back.

“Darling?” Eames asked. “You alright?”

Arthur looked up to find Eames’ concerned face frowning at him. 

“Yeah. Just a stupid paper cut.” He flexed his fist and reached for the bag with the other hand.

“Let me see it,” Eames insisted. He grasped Arthur’s hand between his wide, warm ones and spread Arthur’s thumb and forefinger. The tiny scratch was barely visible and Arthur rolled his eyes.

“See? It’s nothing.”

Eames lifted his hand to his mouth and kissed it.


	3. Chapter 3

Arthur smirked. “Thanks,” he said drily. “I have been magically healed.”

Eames grinned and opened his mouth to say something undoubtedly dirty, but a loud scream interrupted him.

They both stopped and turned to face Peabrain, pouting on his perch.

“Aw, darling,” Eames crooned, “were you feeling left out?”

“Eames,” Arthur said, “if you kiss the peacock, I am leaving you in the middle of this store and changing the locks at home.”

“Don’t listen to him,” Eames said to Peabrain. “He doesn’t mean a word of it.”

“I’m serious, Eames,” Arthur said.

“Hey!” a voice said. “Is that a _peacock_ in my store?”


	4. Chapter 4

Eames shot Arthur a look--half shock, half joy. As if this didn’t happen all the time. “No, sir,” he said, returning his gaze to the red-faced store manager. “And I’ll thank you not to call our child names.”

Before the man could close his mouth, Arthur cut in. “I’m sorry about him,” he said, clearly referring to Eames and not the bird. “He’s going outside.” He shot Eames a glare. “NOW.”

Eames huffed, but led Peabrain outside.

Arthur needed to finish the party shopping quickly. It was never a good idea to leave Eames and Peabrain in public alone for too long.


	5. Chapter 5

Arthur consulted his list; he'd managed the salad and other veggies, but he still needed an annoying amount of other stuff. He wheeled the cart over to the bakery next, ignoring the niggling worry about what exactly his boyfriend and their stolen pet peacock were getting up to. Instead, he found two loaves of fresh bread, still warm from the oven, and added a third for the bird without letting himself overthink it.

He grabbed a little sourdough round that would make a great holder for dip. He wheeled the cart and was confronted by the giant display of cupcakes in seasonal colors. Easter was over, but spring pastels were still the thing, unfortunately; he took a photo of the pink and blue monstrosities to send to Eames for his opinion.

Eames sent back a photo of the peacock trying to eat something out of the trash.

Arthur sighed and chose the big box with both chocolate and vanilla cupcakes before moving on to the dairy section for cheese and dip.


	6. Chapter 6

As Arthur was debating between whether baked brie was needed on top of the already planned spinach and artichoke in bread bowl dip his phone buzzed again.

Eames now wanted streamers… correctly colored streamers. It’s not Arthur’s fault that the randomly assigned birthday of their “borrowed” peacock was in the spring- that would be Ariadne. It was not Arthur’s fault that a date with such proximity to Easter was chosen. It was not Arthur’s fault that the boring washed out pastel colors of spring looks even more washed out next to a Peacock.

Arthur looked down at the wedge of cheese currently being used as a stress ball and sighed. He took a picture of the pile of cheese now in the cart and sent it to Eames. 

Eames sent back a photo of Peabrain triumphantly holding the keys to their car in its beak… just great. Arthur made sure the good chocolate made it into the shopping cart as well. Eames owed him a treat anyway.


	7. Chapter 7

By the time Arthur made it out of the store, laden with brand new reusable grocery bags because they always manage to forget the ones they already have, Eames is charming a white-haired lady who barely comes to his elbow. Peabrain is perched on a parking meter, seemingly ignoring the world, but he lets out a loud cry when Arthur approaches. 

“You’re right, he is the bird’s favourite,” the woman says.

“Arthur’s everyone’s favourite,” Eames explains sagely.

Arthur rolls his eyes. “What’s on your head?”

Eames looks innocently confused for a moment before opening his mouth into a perfect moue and turning his head to the side to show off the shiny top hat adorned with a rich purple ribbon and an array of peacock feathers.

“It’s a hat.”

“I can see that, where did you get it?”

“A man sold it to me!” Eames tells him jovially and the woman chuckles.

Arthur prays silently for patience. “A man walked by in that hat and sold it to you?”

“That’s exactly how it happened!” the woman chimes in, nodding. “Saw it with my own eyes.”

“Right, who are you?” Arthur tries his best to sound polite, but the bags are heavy, his boyfriend is wearing a silk monstrosity on his head, their peacock just shit all over the parking meter, and he thinks it’s starting to rain

“Oh, well, I sold him the brooch,” she explains, patting Eames’ hand.

Peabrain screams and scrambles off the parking meter, dragging his leash behind him as he chases an empty coffee lid. 

“There’s a brooch, too?” Arthur asks, wondering how Eames finds these people.

“For you, darling!” Eames grins and holds out a silver peacock feather, encrusted with fake jewels. “For your lapel.”

Arthur sighs. The brooch is tacky and looks heavy enough to crumple his suit, but Eames and the woman look so pleased, and yes, apparently Arthur really does love Eames this much, because he readjusts his grip on the bags, steps on Peabrain’s leash to halt his escape, and plasters on a smile.

“I love it, this is going to be the best peacock birthday ever!”


	8. Chapter 8

Once back at Eames' apartment, Arthur put the bagged salad in a large crystal bowl (the only vessel Peabrain would eat out of, the spoiled thing) and placed it on the floor. Peabrain ignored it in favor of repeatedly pecking at the cupcake box.

"Eames, can peacocks even _have_ cupcakes? Who exactly did we get all these cupcakes for? It’s just going to be like, three people."

"I invited some more friends over," Eames called from the back bedroom, where he was engaged in a noisy project Arthur didn't want to know anything about. There was a knock at the door. "And there they are!"

Arthur breathed out slowly through his nose to calm himself. Then he took a deep breath through his mouth and yelled, "The streamers aren't up! The food isn't even... EAMES, WE'RE NOT READY FOR GUESTS."

Eames appeared as if from out of nowhere, petting Arthur's head as Peabrain offered him a piece of arugula from his bowl. Arthur took the arugula and pretended to eat it, knowing that the bird wouldn't leave him alone until he appeared to accept the offering. Peabrain flapped its wings as if to say, "my work here is done," and strode over to the door where Arthur could hear Yusuf’s muffled voice calling, “Eames? Are you there? Did I get the date wrong?”

"Relax, darling," Eames murmured into his hair. "It's only a silly party for a silly bird." Arthur nodded and gathered himself.

"Fine," he conceded tersely. "I mean, it's only the first party we've hosted together, but you're right. It's just for fun."

The knocking got louder. "Arthur? Are you in there?" 

Oh, wonderful, Mal and Cobb were here as well. Arthur pushed Eames towards the door and grabbed a bottle of wine. He was going to need it.


	9. Chapter 9

“Bonjour cheries! And this must be the lucky bird!” Mal declared as she waltzed in the door, dropping kisses on Eames’ cheeks. 

Peabrain preened at the attention, accepting it as his due. 

Arthur forced himself to smile as he walked over to accept Mal’s embrace and _la bise_. “Hello, Mal, Dom,” Arthur nodded in greeting to Dom. 

Mal had bent down to give cheek kisses to Peabrain as well. 

“Don’t you look handsome!” Mal cooed at the bird. 

Eames looked delighted. Arthur rolled his eyes fondly. 

They successfully managed to complete the party decorations before Ariadne and Robert arrived, both bearing gifts wrapped in peacock-themed wrapping paper (“Not that it can compare to this beauty,” Ariadne had said, gently petting Peabrain. Peabrain tried to eat the ribbon).


	10. Chapter 10

“Ah, wine!” Eames called as he spotted Arthur attempting to pull off Indifferent Pose #2 to conceal his well-earned bottle, and Peabrain gave a happy scream in response. “Come, everyone, a toast before we begin.”

Arthur passed around wine glasses as Eames uncorked the bottle, cooing nonsense to the bird as he did so, and when he started explaining the danger of drunk peacocks to Yusuf, Arthur marveled at what his life had become. He looked around at the collection of people in his life who loved and accepted him, and them, and their affinity for finding ridiculous situations.

“What are you smiling about?” Ariadne teased, one finger on the neck of the bottle to fill her glass a bit more.

“Did I ever tell you about the time I got hit on in a packed subway car by two different guys?”

Mal laughed. “I have heard this one, I believe. It starts with kumquats, no?”

“And it ends with true love at first sight,” Eames said, coming around to kiss Arthur on the cheek.

“Well,” Arthur hedged, “he was very flashy. And he did come on pretty strong. And eventually, I decided an intelligent conversation is far too overrated.” 

“Oi!” Eames squawked.

“Oh,” Arthur said, straightening his brooch, “I didn’t mean you. The birthday boy is the one who finally wooed me into settling down.”

Instead of laughing, Eames looked at him, his face soft and fond. “I know the feeling, darling.”

Arthur blinked. 

“Happy Birthday, petal.”

“How—?”

Around him, smiling faces said they already knew, and a circle of his closest friends raised a glass.

“You didn’t think I’d let it go by uncelebrated, now did you?” Eames grinned at him, crooked smile and all. “To Arthur.”

“To Arthur!” his friends chorused. 

Eames kissed him. “And many more.”

_“EeyaaAH! EaYAAH ya YA YAAH!”_

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> We love you and you’re awesome. You inspire all of us. :birthday hugs!: --deinvati
> 
> Fia you’re the absolute best <3 <3 love you lots! --Mousie
> 
> Happy Birthday Fia! You’re an inspiration. --Coffee
> 
> Happy Birthday, Fia! It's been so great getting to know your inner kind skeleton as well as your outer angsty porn writer. <3 --Amy
> 
> Happy Happy Happy Birfday Love!!! <3 --Amarula
> 
> To an absolute fckin LEGEND, much love and happy birthday! --Oceaxe
> 
> You’re such a great cheerleader and support, and you write some of the greatest porn out there! You are so awesome and thoughtful, and I hope you have a very happy birthday! --teacuphuman
> 
> Happy Birthday Fia! You’re an incredible writer and a wonderful friend! --QueenThayet


End file.
